Confessions of a first time Mom

When I became a Mom; I started writing about my experience. As we celebrate mothers day I hope all mom's out there can relate to my experience as captured in the excerpt below.

CHAPTER ONE: IN THE BEGINNING
I have always been one of those women that knew I wanted to have kids. My mother was not around very much when I was growing up so I knew when my turn came to be a mom I wanted to be the best I could be.

My little girl was born on 2nd July 2008. The moment I laid my eyes on her I fell head over heels in love with her. I was extremely exhausted from the entire ordeal. The first night I spent with her I could not sleep. I was too afraid that something bad would happen and I would be asleep! Every tiny whimper she made scared me to death. I was afraid she was not breathing and somehow got it into my head that I had to pay attention and I never slept the entire night. When my husband showed up at the hospital the next day I handed her over to catch some zs.

Motherhood has been the most intense experience of my entire life. It’s been the most blissful and most sensible thing I have ever done with my life. Don’t get me wrong I have had moments where I literally banged my head into a wall. When I could not figure out why my baby was incessantly crying or not sleeping and I just curled up with her and cried. I have had to learn the art of sleeping in two-hour intervals and how to function on four hours of sleep. It drove me insane at first because I figured being pregnant and heavy and giving birth was the hard part. Compared to this, that part was a breeze. I don’t even remember what it felt like. The part afterwards can drive anyone into an insane asylum. I cannot believe Tom Cruise actually chastisised Cindy Crawford for seeking help due to her post-partum depression. I mean, how in the world would any man understand what its like to bring a life into this world and then having to care for it under such intense circumstances. Where do women find such stamina? I salute any mother especially single mothers that have been there for their children and have made it through such adversity.

Take my first week home for instance. Who knew a little thing like not being able to pass gas or poop would drive a baby and mom to the brink of insanity! Take it from me. Do not take farting for granted. I was in pain and had to spend nights rocking my daughter back and forth. I mean I tried everything water, medication, begging and praying. Eventually it would all pass and I would have a few minutes of sleep right before another feeding and the cycle would start all over again. Thank God that two months later everything is now in working order all the drama not withstanding. Well at least that is what I thought until a much later period when two days had passed without my baby going for a poop not for lack of trying but rather yielding no results. I had not slept at all as she was crying a lot and with time I realized the water I gave her was not working. In a teary panic I grabbed my husband and we drove to the nearest children’s Hospital where they performed an enema. Now there are certain things in life that should not be allowed to happen to such a tiny and beautiful creature and this was definitely one of them. It was quick and painless and in a minute everything came flooding out. I have never seen a more blissful look on such a tiny and beautiful face. That day for the first time ever my daughter slept for a straight six hours. Sadly for me most of them were spent in hospital and on the road driving back home. But I was beyond elated that she was now fine to even care about sleep.

Through all of this I have learned the meaning of absolute and unconditional love and sacrifice. I now know what God means when he calls us his children. I have learned that there is no greater mission on earth than to bring up a child who will make an impact on society. I have learned that I do have the capacity to change the world through the finger print I leave my daughters life. As I embark on this journey that there is absolutely no room for a halfhearted commitment. I have to and will give it my all.