When I became a Mom; I started writing about my experience. As we celebrate mothers day I hope all mom's out there can relate to my experience as captured in the excerpt below.
CHAPTER ONE: IN THE BEGINNING
I have always been one of those women that knew I wanted to have kids. My mother was not around very much when I was growing up so I knew when my turn came to be a mom I wanted to be the best I could be.
My little girl was born on 2nd July 2008. The moment I laid my eyes on her I fell head over heels in love with her. I was extremely exhausted from the entire ordeal. The first night I spent with her I could not sleep. I was too afraid that something bad would happen and I would be asleep! Every tiny whimper she made scared me to death. I was afraid she was not breathing and somehow got it into my head that I had to pay attention and I never slept the entire night. When my husband showed up at the hospital the next day I handed her over to catch some zs.
Motherhood has been the most intense experience of my entire life. It’s been the most blissful and most sensible thing I have ever done with my life. Don’t get me wrong I have had moments where I literally banged my head into a wall. When I could not figure out why my baby was incessantly crying or not sleeping and I just curled up with her and cried. I have had to learn the art of sleeping in two-hour intervals and how to function on four hours of sleep. It drove me insane at first because I figured being pregnant and heavy and giving birth was the hard part. Compared to this, that part was a breeze. I don’t even remember what it felt like. The part afterwards can drive anyone into an insane asylum. I cannot believe Tom Cruise actually chastisised Cindy Crawford for seeking help due to her post-partum depression. I mean, how in the world would any man understand what its like to bring a life into this world and then having to care for it under such intense circumstances. Where do women find such stamina? I salute any mother especially single mothers that have been there for their children and have made it through such adversity.
Take my first week home for instance. Who knew a little thing like not being able to pass gas or poop would drive a baby and mom to the brink of insanity! Take it from me. Do not take farting for granted. I was in pain and had to spend nights rocking my daughter back and forth. I mean I tried everything water, medication, begging and praying. Eventually it would all pass and I would have a few minutes of sleep right before another feeding and the cycle would start all over again. Thank God that two months later everything is now in working order all the drama not withstanding. Well at least that is what I thought until a much later period when two days had passed without my baby going for a poop not for lack of trying but rather yielding no results. I had not slept at all as she was crying a lot and with time I realized the water I gave her was not working. In a teary panic I grabbed my husband and we drove to the nearest children’s Hospital where they performed an enema. Now there are certain things in life that should not be allowed to happen to such a tiny and beautiful creature and this was definitely one of them. It was quick and painless and in a minute everything came flooding out. I have never seen a more blissful look on such a tiny and beautiful face. That day for the first time ever my daughter slept for a straight six hours. Sadly for me most of them were spent in hospital and on the road driving back home. But I was beyond elated that she was now fine to even care about sleep.
Through all of this I have learned the meaning of absolute and unconditional love and sacrifice. I now know what God means when he calls us his children. I have learned that there is no greater mission on earth than to bring up a child who will make an impact on society. I have learned that I do have the capacity to change the world through the finger print I leave my daughters life. As I embark on this journey that there is absolutely no room for a halfhearted commitment. I have to and will give it my all.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Overcoming the Storms in our lives
The most difficult thing in life is maintaining your focus on a goal while things all around you are not going as planned or you face some kind of adversity in your life. Women especially, are prone to getting emotionally totaled when things are not working out in one area or other in their lives.
Here are some ways you can stay focused and at the same time empower yourself to rise above your circumstances;
1.Accept the reality of whatever has happened in your life. Allow yourself 5 minutes each day or even a little bit more, to feel sorry for yourself and even cry. After that move on and do something productive.
2.Don’t keep replaying the event in your mind. Focus on bouncing back and staying in control.
3.Keep yourself empowered; stay focused on who you are and why you were created. Fill your mind with positive empowering thoughts. Know that as a woman you have an edge. You are stronger and capable of bouncing back from pain and adversity. Your body was created to navigate times like these.
4.Accept the things you can’t change and move forward with your life. Don’t get stuck in the past or present state. Always be in constant motion; forward motion.
Life is full of adversity and pain and it’s an absolute guarantee that you will face challenging times. Learn to free your heart from bitterness, anger, rage and grudges. Don’t blame yourself, move forward with resolve.
One of my favorite episodes in Desperate Housewives was a scene from Season 5. Right after Bree’s husband Orson had been sent to jail for three years, she went into a state of depression and alcoholism as she tried to deal with losing her husband. Her business partner and friend came to see her and told her to stop feeling sorry for herself, and to focus on filling her life with accomplishment and focus on her goals.
Whatever it is; if it doesn’t kill you it will only make you stronger.
Here are some ways you can stay focused and at the same time empower yourself to rise above your circumstances;
1.Accept the reality of whatever has happened in your life. Allow yourself 5 minutes each day or even a little bit more, to feel sorry for yourself and even cry. After that move on and do something productive.
2.Don’t keep replaying the event in your mind. Focus on bouncing back and staying in control.
3.Keep yourself empowered; stay focused on who you are and why you were created. Fill your mind with positive empowering thoughts. Know that as a woman you have an edge. You are stronger and capable of bouncing back from pain and adversity. Your body was created to navigate times like these.
4.Accept the things you can’t change and move forward with your life. Don’t get stuck in the past or present state. Always be in constant motion; forward motion.
Life is full of adversity and pain and it’s an absolute guarantee that you will face challenging times. Learn to free your heart from bitterness, anger, rage and grudges. Don’t blame yourself, move forward with resolve.
One of my favorite episodes in Desperate Housewives was a scene from Season 5. Right after Bree’s husband Orson had been sent to jail for three years, she went into a state of depression and alcoholism as she tried to deal with losing her husband. Her business partner and friend came to see her and told her to stop feeling sorry for herself, and to focus on filling her life with accomplishment and focus on her goals.
Whatever it is; if it doesn’t kill you it will only make you stronger.
The Secret to Success
Why is it that for some people success seems to have come easy while for others it seems a struggle?
One of my business partners always tells me that his father, who became a millionaire at 25, used to always tell him that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Every successful person you see has gotten to where they are because they paid the ultimate prize for their accomplishment.
I am surprised each day by the price people are willing to pay for a temporary state of accomplishment. Wherever you are in you career cycle, have you ever tried to project a decade into the future? I will give you an example of what I'm getting at.
I attended a class at church where the people in my class felt that our church was putting pressure on them because everyone in the church was young and was driving some kind of really cool and expensive car. For that reason they felt that they were not fitting into the particular kind of class the church was targeting. I told them a story of a lady who worked in one of the leading banks in asset finance. She came to visit and as she took a look in the parking lot she recognized a lot of cars that she owned in the asset portfolio she managed for the bank because the owners were still repaying their car loans for these flashy cars. Yet here were these young men and women feeling that they were not financially capable!
Are you willing to pay the ultimate price!
What sets successful people apart is how they behave. They don’t wait for things to happen they make them happen. They don’t wait until the time is right, they take calculated risks. When things don’t go according to plan, they adapt quickly. They are willing to make mistakes, experiment and explore new possibilities.
One of my favorite songs by Kanye West has a line which goes something like; “before I had it I closed my eyes and imagined”. Ask yourself what you truly want. Think about how you will feel when you have what you want. This means you can begin to direct your life because you have a precise well defined and accurately identified goal.
One of my business partners always tells me that his father, who became a millionaire at 25, used to always tell him that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Every successful person you see has gotten to where they are because they paid the ultimate prize for their accomplishment.
I am surprised each day by the price people are willing to pay for a temporary state of accomplishment. Wherever you are in you career cycle, have you ever tried to project a decade into the future? I will give you an example of what I'm getting at.
I attended a class at church where the people in my class felt that our church was putting pressure on them because everyone in the church was young and was driving some kind of really cool and expensive car. For that reason they felt that they were not fitting into the particular kind of class the church was targeting. I told them a story of a lady who worked in one of the leading banks in asset finance. She came to visit and as she took a look in the parking lot she recognized a lot of cars that she owned in the asset portfolio she managed for the bank because the owners were still repaying their car loans for these flashy cars. Yet here were these young men and women feeling that they were not financially capable!
Are you willing to pay the ultimate price!
What sets successful people apart is how they behave. They don’t wait for things to happen they make them happen. They don’t wait until the time is right, they take calculated risks. When things don’t go according to plan, they adapt quickly. They are willing to make mistakes, experiment and explore new possibilities.
One of my favorite songs by Kanye West has a line which goes something like; “before I had it I closed my eyes and imagined”. Ask yourself what you truly want. Think about how you will feel when you have what you want. This means you can begin to direct your life because you have a precise well defined and accurately identified goal.
Get out of your comfort Zone
The most common question I get is from people who ask me how it is they can be able to move forward and actually put into action the very thing they have been thinking of doing for eons. Once you overcome procrastinating how do you take that final leap? The fear of failure and fear of the unknown is what holds people back. As a person you need to get to a place where you feel your purpose so strongly that not accomplishing it is a worse fate than death.
There is nothing that makes me sad than to meet someone that wanted to do something so badly but because they were unwilling to get out of their comfort zone, they lost time and now they have settled into their fate and what life has handed them as their destiny.
The one thing I tell women to do is to begin with the end in mind.What is it that you want to accomplish in the long run. If you took a look in the mirror and you saw yourself a decade from now; who is the woman looking back at you in the mirror? How does she feel about herself? How does she live her life? What things are important to her? Then figure out how you can get the woman in the present to get to the woman in the future.
Another mistake I have found women making is thinking that there is only one way. Ask any battle strategist, the goal is the same; eliminate the enemy. But the methods are countless. Accept that you are not defined but what you do but what who you are and what you have to offer. Find ways to bring your skill set to the forefront no matter what you do.Whether you set up a yogurt shop or run a multi-million organization the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment is the same.
I have sat in boardrooms with sleek looking investment bankers who own factories and chicken businesses. Remember all that matters is the goal. Do not get caught up trying to keep up with the joneses.
There is nothing that makes me sad than to meet someone that wanted to do something so badly but because they were unwilling to get out of their comfort zone, they lost time and now they have settled into their fate and what life has handed them as their destiny.
The one thing I tell women to do is to begin with the end in mind.What is it that you want to accomplish in the long run. If you took a look in the mirror and you saw yourself a decade from now; who is the woman looking back at you in the mirror? How does she feel about herself? How does she live her life? What things are important to her? Then figure out how you can get the woman in the present to get to the woman in the future.
Another mistake I have found women making is thinking that there is only one way. Ask any battle strategist, the goal is the same; eliminate the enemy. But the methods are countless. Accept that you are not defined but what you do but what who you are and what you have to offer. Find ways to bring your skill set to the forefront no matter what you do.Whether you set up a yogurt shop or run a multi-million organization the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment is the same.
I have sat in boardrooms with sleek looking investment bankers who own factories and chicken businesses. Remember all that matters is the goal. Do not get caught up trying to keep up with the joneses.
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